Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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