I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
