I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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