You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize