I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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