everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
