I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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