It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
