C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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