But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
