I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
