Small penises have feelings too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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