STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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