Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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