maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
