I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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