Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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