Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
