I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
