I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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