i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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