your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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