remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
