apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
