I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
