is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
