I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
