At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
