Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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