as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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