If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
