i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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