Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
