I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
