U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize