Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
