why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
