your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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