There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
honey bunches of taint.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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