you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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