i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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