the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
