five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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