bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
