So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
