Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were trust falling into bushes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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