my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We left an ass print on the piano.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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