I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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