So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize