Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
