My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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