I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You've changed since you got that strap on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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