i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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