Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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