peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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