what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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