My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
