I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
