I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
