i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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