try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
