Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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