you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
