my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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