I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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