I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she smelled like a LAN party
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
