I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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