So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize