I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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