Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
