The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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