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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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