I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That's how pantless uber rides happen
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
