I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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