You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
