U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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