Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
