I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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