I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
